Conversations With My 8 Year Old Nephew: The Things I Learned About Sales
Whilst strolling through the mall last week with my eight year old nephew, Kaz, looking for a WII game, Indiana Jones II (he is the one with the surfboard on the beach in the picture)…
…He looked up to me and said:
“Maria, can we go
get a fake cell phone?”
As I raised one of my eyebrows and wondered what type of game is Kaz playing on me now…I politely asked:
“Kaz, what do you mean?”
Kaz then said:
“My friend did it, he went to that cell phone store right there and got a fake cell phone”
Curious now as to how this was going to play out…I said:
“OK and he led me into the crowded store.”
In a blink of an eye, he walked right past the customer service reps and shoppers on the sales floor and went straight to the check out counter.
It was like seeing a snowplow move straight down a road just moving snow aside…as Kaz moved straight through the crowd of shoppers to a decision maker.
I thought to myself…Hmmmm…focused on his goal isn’t he?
The employee behind the counter looked suspiciously down at this little blond boy whose head just reached above the counter and before I could say a peep (and for anyone who knows me…that is a miracle to be the silent one)…
Kaz, with full straight posture and all the confidence in the world asked:
“Yes, can I have a fake cell phone?”
I just stood there with a smirk on my face as the service rep looked at Kaz and slowly looked at me…
***************** Did Kaz Get a Fake Cell Phone? *********
Stay tuned for my next episode of conversations with my 8 year old nephew to find out what happened next!
My contest – how you can win that book I show in the “Trends on Tap” Episode I Video
Step 1 – Enter a comment and tell me what you have learned from a child on selling skills
Step 2 – Guess at whether Kaz got a fake cell phone!
Lessons Learned about sales:
Have you ever wondered at what age we lose our fearlessness, our state of total belief in just asking for what we want and full of confidence and curiousity?
Here is a eight year old walking up to an adult and straight out asking for what I didn’t even know existed!
What if you had that confidence and state of total belief that your prospect would say yes simply if you asked for it, expected it in your mind and heart?
Why is it so hard for us now as adults to communicate with someone we don’t know…
…yet an 8 year old makes it look like it is as easy and natural as breathing.
A success action step: Whenever you working on the ‘confidence’ to approach a prospect, just think about the 8 year old boy in the picture above and think about how natural it should be for you to ask for the sale, ask for what you want because what is the worst that could happen? Nothing!
As Wayne Gretzky said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”
He closes prospects to clients as naturally as a bird flies south for the winter…listen in live, ask your question on my Radio Show as I grill my VP of Sales on 7 Tips to Close at
To your success! Maria Gudelis
Inspiring story Maria, it's so true that some kids are just naturals at asking for the sale, and what they want. They're so good at it, it puts some of us to shame, lol. I guess the lesson learnt is to essentially stay focused on what we want to achieve until we get it.
Cheers, Joel.
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Thanks Joel – yes – kids can teach us so much!
I think about this all the time because I have realised that I am totally self conscious now about a lot of things I didn't care about when I was much younger. Fifteen years ago, I was proud to play the piano in front of people when I was 9. Now, I don't want to in case I make a mistake and they realise I'm not that good. I would be too embarrassed to ask for anything I wanted in a shop now, like Kaz.
That's funny. I have a nephew with the same name, looks just like yours, and would do the same thing yours did. What a small world:)
What I have learned from a child on selling? LOTS!
As a father of four, I've been able to watch this up and close for years. I've actually thought about this lots so I'm going to do my best to limit my comments here – or this will quickly get too big!
Children have yet to learn to be fearful of being told no. As adults we have learned to be fearful of the answer, "They might say no!" Yes, and? So What? Get over it. Move on. Kids know that, we forgot it.
Virtually all of the toys or other "stuff" that children want matters little a few days (or even minutes!) later on. They have a target, a desire, and go after it. If denied, they don't spend the next week going over every detail of why they didn't get it, and it sure won't prevent them from asking again. (Kind of like when Dad says no, the kids go ask Mom.) They get over it, and move on to the next hot item. We should learn that lesson. Go after the potential client. If that client says no, go ask another client!
Along with the above, kids are great at asking for the close. When was the last time a parent went to the store and the kid (in a somewhat subtle manner) quietly suggested that perhaps that new candy bar might be a welcome addition to the shopping cart, but only if Mom or Dad felt it was appropriate for today, and the right budget, and within the time constraints of the shopping trip? Um, no. Kids simply tell you what they want, direct and to the point. They go for the close. They don't hint. Often they'll just throw the thing in the cart on their own! We need to learn this, to go ahead and move past the discussion and ask for it. Kids know, if you don't ask, you won't get it.
One thing all kids use is social proof. (Ha! Look at me fitting in all the terms the cool kids use!) All parents are very aware of hearing, "Well, Suzy's mom let's her." or "All my other friends do it." And so on. We get testimonial after testimonial. Sometimes the kids even bring the other kids along to tell us their testimonials in person. Forget video, how about in-person testimonials! We have learned the power of testimonials from our own children.
As the kids get a little older, they learn the buttons to push and boy do they do that well. For any of us who are fathers of girls, we know instantly what is coming when the question starts with "Daddy" versus "Dad". You know what? Even though we know it… it works! Because by using that not-so-subtle shift in words they have been able to appeal to the emotional side we have as men of not wanting our daughters to grow up and away from our control, so we'll give in to keep them young and close. (All along we know it is a sales pitch, but we let it work anyway.) We want to be sold. We want to hear Daddy instead of Dad, and the best sales folks use the language the client wants to hear.
My quick summary. From my kids I have learned that they ask for what they want, and they ask for the close. They love using social proof, and are really good and adjusting their language for the client. If we all did those things in our businesses (any business really), we would all be more effective – and much happier with our results.
Thanks for everything. I'm loving this new path. -Warren
As far as Kaz, the answer was up before I posted this, so that isn't fair, but there was little doubt he would get the phone. (PS – my kids have done the same.)
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
I love it! this post may just end up becoming a book from all of your comments – this is very insightful Warren
and I love the thought you’ve put into it…maybe we should have all the kids teach us sales eh?
Great quote of yours:
cheers, Maria Gudelis
I forgot to add #4 to my original post…
"
4. Expect to get what you ask for
James… "Now may I have the book
What I learned from this is quite simple:
1. Know what you want… Just like Kaz did
2. Go straight to the Decision Maker
3. Ask for what you want
Maria, I think you’ve got a budding entrepreneur on your hands. I’ll say “Yes, he got the fake mobile phone.” My 5 kids just got free ones a few weeks ago at the phone kiosk at our local Costco.
When we enter this world. we have only 2 fears: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. All the other fears are those that our mind has created or those that we have learned through our experiences.
Kaz is inspiring. He had a desire, backed by focus, and took action. Of course, he got the phone.
Great story Maria.
Twitter: saundrajackson
says:
God has not given us the spirit of fear, man did. As a Nana to 3 grandsons, I knew about the fake cell phone. Kids know what they want and if a friend got one he knew that he could get one. He knew where to go, he just needed someone to go with him. Focus and set on what he knew, where, when and you, Maria was the how.
Now all he needs is to keep positive re-enforcements around him and he will definitely succeed in life.
What I have learned from children about sales is that children make statements not ask questions. Instead of asking who would I talk to get get a fake cell phone, Kids will say I want a fake cell phone. When a Kid gets an answer that doesn’t go their way, they ask “WHY”!
Of Course Kaz got the phone ~!
As the proud owner of a 6yr and a 2yr old it never cease’s to amaze me as to how they get the things they want. As I write, I have about 2/3rd of a chocolate birthday cake on the dining room table. My 6yr old daughter badly wants a piece of this scrummy chocolate treat, and so far she has jumped thru the obstacles I have put in front of her, eat the apple from school lunch box, drink of water, read school book. No whys, just got on and did them. She has also asked 1) Can I have a piece of your birthday cake? 2) When can I have a piece of your cake? 3) Can we all of some of that cake now? 4) Can I get the plates out for you now so we can have our cake?
There is some level of progression in her questioning – showing her expectation on closing the deal on a slice of chocolate heaven.
Here endeth the lesson – she’s getting cake!
Kas gets his phone, and knows where he goes for his first real phone too!
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Now i’m craving chocolate cake!
Sweet Comment!
1. I’ve learned that a Smile along with a request for something always does better…I have two girls and they use that “trick” a lot! lol
2. I believe he got the phone…If he was a little older I would consider a $20 pay as you go phone instead. I great option to teach responsibility and they can usually be used to call 911 even if they don’t have any call time available.
Dave Mason
Maria,
Children can teach us so much because they are enthusiastic, fearless, focused and they usually get what they want when they set their minds to it!! Their minds are very positively charged and everything is achievable to them! After all, the moment they were born, they’re equipped with the art of asking, adapting and learning. I also noticed children have a deep desire to do things well and they keep trying till they are proud of their handywork.
My children have taught me a lot about tenacity. They are so tenacious and stubborn about what they want and when they want it. They dislike the word ‘failure’ and they definitely don’t like the word ‘no’. They have the capacity to ‘go for it’ like a dog with a bone even when the answer is ‘no’. They also know if they persevere, mum or dad may change their minds. From an early age, they have boldly asked for things they need as if that is their right. If one of their friends is having fun with a new toy, guess what, they want the same toy, if not a better one since they are also highly competitive.
Your challenge has got me thinking.. Just like Kaz, he expressed what he wanted, he led you to the store, he spotted the person who can help him get what he wants and he simply asked for assistance. I need to do likewise, know my goals, set my course to achieve those goals within a time frame, focus on seeking the decision makers, set the appointments, go out, do the workshop presentations. Listen to the prospective clients’ needs, assure them that we can come up with the solutions and ask for the order. Just as your nephew led you to the store, we need to lead our prospective clients by the hand through the whole process.
Jake said he listens to his clients in understanding their business needs and casually suggests some solutions in his initial approach. That is his secret in being very successful.
Your nephew explained the success his friend experienced and that he too could enjoy the same success if he got the fake phone. What I am inspired is your team can help us succeed and what we need to do is to cast ourselves as successful Online Marketing Consultants till it happens! A confident, tenacious, enthusiastic, ‘leading by the hand’ approach helps clients to trust us and want to transact with us.
As to whether Kaz got his fake phone, my guess is a definite ‘yes’! You can’t help yourself but want to bless your nephew and the reasons he gave you for buying the fake phone would have stirred something in you to support him in his goal. His single mindedness would have impressed you to help him get what he wanted. Plus you got a brilliant idea to inspire us to be confident in what we can achieve if we dare to believe.
When you said in your video $1Mil in 6 months, I kind of gasp but then I thought to myself, why not? What is stopping me from that???
Thanks for all your support and for challenging me to believe all things are achievable if I switch my heart, my mind and my mouth to agree that I can do it! And while I am learning how to, I need to think and act as an Online Marketing Expert who is not afraid of saying..”that depends” when I don’t have the answer to the question.
Bless you and your team for all the efforts you are putting in!!
Going for great guns…
Theresa
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey Theresa! You have indeed applied it to running your business! Exactly what you wrote here – I love:
And you are most welcome for:
He wants that cell phone, and that is the only thing in his vision. He’s not letting anything stop him. He has no preconcieved notions as to how the sales person is going to respond to him.
Yes, he gets the phone!
whether he got the phone or not doesn’t really matter (well okay, it does to him) but the lesson is taking focused action with a single-minded purpose without hesitation regardless of any obstacles
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey Brian – love your response on the lesson:
totally agree!
Twitter: susancromer
says:
Maria,
The lesson that Katz reinforced for me is that we create our reality by “feeling” our expectations or thoughts. Katz “felt” a positive outcome. He didn’t doubt that he would get what he wanted; therefore, he was fearless. We all are born with this ability but unfortunately most of us are conditioned by society, schooling, etc., to forget how to correctly manifest our thoughts. How lucky Katz is to have an aunt that recognizes, nourishes and promotes this birthright.
Expect the sale and ask for it with full confidence!
Of course, Katz gets the phone….
Thanks for another interesting lesson!
Susan
It’s very much piqued my curiosity (which was the sales ploy he so effectively used on you.)
I’ve had to wonder exactly what it was his friend got from the store at a prior time. Is there such a thing? Is a fake cell phone something popular with kids that we don’t know about? I even Googled it to see if there was something you weren’t telling us. All I can come up with is that a.) either there are fake cell phones available that are filled with candy or some such (as mentioned in a previous comment,) or b.) the store was using a dummy display model and perhaps gave it to Kaz’s friend after the model had become obsolete.
Why would anyone want a fake cell phone? In Kaz’s case, I assume it would be to gain approval from his friend. In any event, sure, he confidently sought his desire, but what if there had been such a thing and it cost $100? I’m guessing we all would get a lesson on what fake cell phones are and why having one might be justified.
Twitter: MCSGMarketing
says:
Kaz, gets the phone and more.
In the process of obtaining the phone he never doubts himself.That’s a given.
However, he teaches those around him not to doubt that obtaining the phone was possible.
When I visualize the story I see the adults around him amazed at his brazenness.
Reacting with raised eyebrows.
Yet he teaches us that the fearlessness of his actions are absolutely wonderful!
There is nothing wrong with asking for what you want.
It’s more than the sale; it’s the inner confidence, the peace of heart,and the joy of expectation!
How absolutely fun!
We all deal in the reality of things around us
that we forget to look at life creatively and joyfully!
Not everything has to be difficult.
Keep it simple and ask for what you want and you’ll get it.
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey Mary! that is awesome
Hey Maria,
I’ve not read any Ayn Rand, but have heard a lot about Atlas Shrugged. In fact, it turns out I have room on my bookshelf for it! (smile) I’m also a member of Easton Press and you’re right, there’s nothing like passing the time and expanding your mind like holding a fine, leather-bound book in your hands.
Anyway, I’m thinking the youngster got what he wanted. Either in that store in the form of a promotional item (like the candy filled version mentioned earlier) or somewhere else like a toy store.
But I think the key factor in this discussion is fear – or the lack of it.
It’s believed that we are born with only two fears – falling and loud noises.
From there, every other fear is learned. I believe it is the absence of fear – and all the negative self talk that comes with it – that allows children (and some adults) to be able to manifest such wonderful things in their lives.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could reboot and flush all that nasty negative stuff out of our minds? Imagine what such an optimized mind would be capable of…
Till such a day comes, remember: The solution to pollution is dilution.
Be well,
Russ
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hi Russ! Great statement:
Twitter: decologne
says:
He had a perfect blueprint: his friend had been successful with the same strategy. He directly approached the person in charge of the decision.
And:
yes, he will succeed.
Hi Maria: After reading about your 8 year old nephew Kaz what I got out of your story is that it does not matter whether it exists or not – your mind determination is EVERYTHING and it will lead your actions to get you results. My analysis is that Kaz thought it existed; you were not sure it existed, but he was determined and took action to get his result.
Thanks Maria for inspiring!
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey Regina! Great analysis of it:
Yes mind determination is everything!!! Cheers, Maria Gudelis
Hi Maria,
Yes he received the fake cellphone, because you made that obvious when you said; “straight out asking for what I didn’t even know existed!”
Fear is a learned behavior just like optimism, success, and a plethora of traits. Most start early in the child’s upbringing telling them “no!” which is the seed to the deep seated belief that they can’t do or have that which they want. This gets reinforced by telling them things like; don’t get near the stove or you’ll get burned, don’t get near that pool or you’ll drown, don’t get near the street or you’ll get run over, etc. which is further reinforced by the parents own emotion and expression of fear. Of course this gets further reinforced everything in their experience – school, church, television, etc.
Have you ever wondered why most of the esoteric and philosophical texts speak about becoming like a little child or being born again? Well this is about renewing the mind to get rid of all of that mind pattern programming and return to the natural state of trust, expectancy, and the imaginative state. Then you can rewrite the belief system with those that serve your desires and purpose.
Of course this may seem just a bit too simple, but it really is this simple.
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Totally agree with you! Even the movie the ‘Matrix’ shows Neo being reborn at the beginning!
Twitter: RenePerrin
says:
Yes- He got the fake cell phone. No doubt…
Reminds me of the story told by Napoleon Hill (I think) “MY MAMMY’S GOTTA HAVE THAT FIFTY CENTS!”
RP
I just wanted to acknowledge you’re right – it was Napoleon Hill who told the story in Think and Grow Rich about the focused and persistent little girl who stood her ground and got her 50 cents . . . gotta admire the determination of kids who have no fear of rejection!
. . . and I’d bet Maria’s nephew got his cell phone for the same reason
Maria:
I think the employee just might have given Kaz a body of a cell phone or a shell of a cell phone, which is an actual fake phone. I have learned that we develop fear some where along the growing-up process. May be junior high through college? It is hard to step-out of our comfort zones, which is a fear. I do believe that it can be changed with effort.
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey Denise -yes it can be changed and it does take effort…we almost get in the habit of FEAR if we let it take over!
oops – and yes, I’m betting Kaz got a fake cell phone!
Be yourself, and go for what you want, or what makes you happy.
When my niece was about 4-5 the family took a trip to the British Isles. One day they came upon a street musician playing Irish music. Janey just started doing a little jig – just being herself and doing something that made her happy. Passers by started tossing coins! Kids just have no fear. (That same niece, now in her early 20′s, has a farm selling goats,chickens and rabbits. Who would think that in this economy people would pay $400 for a baby goat – she would!)
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey Adi! love the story!
You know, check out the book, the cultural creatives – your niece has a great business as there is a trend towards smaller communities, agricultural investments…love the fact she became an entrepreneur!
Maria, I reckon you probably bought Kaz a real cell phone. The store probably has inexpensive ones for young children.
Lesson I learnt is that I have to forget all the fears and habits I’ve built up in the past, and just do it!!
80% of success is showing up!
It’s a little sales letter process: AIDA
A – Attention – Asking for something out of the ordinary like a FAKE cell phone got your attention
I – Interest – his little story about a friend got it (right there)
D – He built desire in you by wanting to please him and looking at you with those little boy eyes, and the strength of his own desire (putting some passion into the pitch).
A – Action – He piled through and asked the salesperson for what he wanted, not worrying about him saying no (how often do we not ask for the sale, worried that we will get a no?).
I have no doubt he got a fake cell phone if that is what he really wanted… even if the store doesn’t have one, there are other places to find them, and, worst case, he can make one out of a small box, or some other materials that he could find around the house. The way to get something isn’t always the first way you try.
Bill
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Wow Bill – clever very awesome analysis to bring in AIDA! Cheers, Maria
Hey Maria and Guys, Happy New Year !
My take on this jaunt is word of mouth. This little guy's friend showed him something that made his eyes glisten and tunneled his vision. So when the child came to the crowded store he didn't even see them, sort of like not seeing the forest because of the tree.
Also I think he received a fake cell phone these stores give out fake cell phone filled with candy to have the kids drag adults into the store. OH WOW ! another sales tactic. See what happens when we write stuff out and think them through?
Thanks Always,
CJ Boston
Twitter: gbsint
says:
He had you in the general area of interest, asked a question about another item that sparked your curiosity. He had a plan and was determined to get what he wanted. Once he had you along (first customer) he had no fear with the next customer (the service rep).
Yes, I think you bought it for him.
Jerry
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey Gerard…hmmm…guess we won’t know if Kaz got that fake cell phone til the next episode
Lol! Nice one Kaz. I think Kaz didn't get the fake cellphone.
Sometimes adults get surprised with what the actions of the kids are yet, we can learn a lot from them too. But they are still kids after all, they still need guidance from adults.
Kaz knew what he wanted,where to get it and who to ask. As his friend had already got a fake cell phone then Kaz expected the same result so on that basis I would say he got it.
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
John- you said
Kind of reminds me of ‘success leaves clue’ and the importance of finding a mentor and a blueprint system of those that have ‘done it before’!
The ability to believe and act as per one's mind's inclination is a native one. You are right when you ask " At what age do we lose" that ! The age varies, but some lucky souls get parents and near ones who never rob them of this supreme power..The frank truth is that this power grows exponentially as you go on exercising. In fact the Underworld and the terrorist gangs do this training more systematically than the police who are charged with taming them, and you know the results! it.. It may not be a bad idea to get the New Boot Campers to spend three days only on practicing this skill. Thereafter they should keep a log of their progress as they continue their efforts.
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Hey CS – what a great suggestion for my next bootcamp! thanks
Twitter: Plakaqueen
says:
Ah Maria, you are always so full of fun and unusual ideas!
Well, it just has to be that your nephew DID get his 'fake cell phone' …you said it right when you refer to the young ones being 'focussed' – they spend time thinking and daydreaming about the things they really want. We adults tend to be so busy all the time that daydreaming doesn't happen very often any more.
I know a similar story to yours that my daughter passed on to me a year or so ago. A colleague of hers has a 6 year old son who wanted to enter a competition where the prize was a proper sailing dinghy – so quite a decent prize! To enter, he had to draw a picture of his dream sailing dinghy which he duly did and sent it off. A day or so later my daughter's colleague came into work and mentioned that his young son was worrying where they were going to keep the dinghy – the colleague was of course worrying that his son was going to be so very disappointed when he didn't win the dinghy… Guess who won the dinghy??! …his son did
Judging by the question he'd asked his father he'd obviously been spending a lot of time day-dreaming about all the details, bless him!
Looking forward to hearing just what happened with your nephew…
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Miranda – what an amazing powerful story about the sub-conscious going to work! We as adults need to tap into that so much more!
!. Confidence comes when expectations are that a successfull result is probable.
2.Yes – Of course he got the fake phone…eight year olds know everything that is going on!
great learning here…thanks…
Hi Marie
90% of people have been conned by internet marketers, so trust is the answer not fear
Barrie
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Ohhhh that is good Barrie! I agree totally!
Twitter: toprankedweb
says:
Hi Maria,
The lesson I've just learnt is to focus on what you want and don't let anything get in your way. If there is something in your way there is always a way around it. Keep your end goal in mind and don't take no for an answer.
So yes, I think Kas got his fake cell phone (called a mobile here in Australia)
This lessons was just the kick I needed for tomorrow's meetings
Thanks
Ian
Twitter: mariagudelis
says:
Ian – yes – when we focus on results…our whole mind, body and even at a cellular level works in union to achieve that!
When we focus on ‘worries’ or FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) – well, then our focus is FUBR’d!